Today's post is brought to you by the number 2

Lot's of 2's today...

2. My iPod broke again. That's twice in two weeks. I lost all my songs. Which was unfortunately more than two. I should probably back them up or something, especially if this is going to keep happening.

2. It's my birthday on SATURDAY! I'll be 22. HOORAY! Which is why I'm inviting, no, demanding that everyone make the trek up/down to the Fortitude Valley that night and join me in some food and drink, my shout (to some extent) and have some fun together. We'll be going to the Indie Temple which plays Indie music, nothing to do with India or Temples, so don't worry. It will be fun if people show up.

2. Starting to get depressed again. I'm lonely. Not just in love but friends too. I'm starting to worry that people don't like me. And worse than that, it's me. Am I some kind of jerk that people don't want to hang around with? Have I insulted people repeatedly? Do I annoy people. Come show your support of me (if it exists) on saturday. I'm worried no-one will show up. So it'd mean a LOT to me if we have some fun.

2. My two closest friends have already made other plans on saturday, which sucks. And my other two closest friends are overseas. Which also sucks. BUT you guys are my REAL friends. You wouldn't bail on me would you? You wouldn't leave me to sit all by myself in a dark room listening to sad-rock on my birthday? Would you?

... ok, the worrying is over. For now.

That's it. Nothing new to report. I guess that's why it's called Mondayne isn't it.
Don't forget I'm Elliott Scott, signing off...

YOU AGAIN?

Hey guys, sorry I hadn't posted anything new in a while; I've been sick and barely able to move. Or see. So no posts. AND I'm doubly sorry that my first post post-sickness is of this:

This is the first spread of the DepressioNet Brochure we're doing. I quite like the general look of it. Of course it needs some work, and I'd appreciate some suggestions. Particularly from people in my class. Double particularly Linus. He always has good ideas.

I am really enjoying this assignment. I think maybe because it's such a personal topic. And that I'm designing it for me and people like me. Okay sure, I do that all the time anyway, but this one in particular is personal. And I like the colors. They make me feel good. Although the actual information in the brochure is kinda depressing. It just explains depression, and confirms that I really am depressed. Not so much now, but still a little bit. I've made progress though, I used to be Medium/Majorly Depressed, and now I'm only Mildly Depressed. WOOT for ME!

Ok, so tomorrow I'm heading into the city with Tanner and Tegan perhaps, so there might be something funny to report back on. If not, I'll make something funny up. I had a copy of weird sickness induced dreams that I was gonna write up about but I forgot them. Sorry.

IESSO

SO YOU'VE DECIDED TO KILL YOURSELF

Here is a design I've done for the depression brochure we're doing for class.



Being a depressed person myself I figured I might as well take the opportunity to just design something for myself. When I was battling through the disease in it's fullest the last thing I wanted to hear was things like "There will be a light at the end of the tunnel" or "There's plenty of fish in the sea". That made me feel so much worse. So I figured others might feel the same way, hence the subheading. Also humor seemed to get my attention, particularly dry sarcastic humor. I was in no mood for jokes, but something not serious or too heavy would be okay. Colors are good too. This is the most colorful thing I've done to date. And I think it works well.

The concept is based on a notebook theme. I doodled in my notebook when I was depressed, it made me feel better to get my ideas, thoughts and feelings out. So that notion is translated into this design. Ok so no-one puts this much effort into a drawing but you get the idea.

I'll let you know what the class opinion is tomorrow.

For now; IESSO

IT'S LIKE LOOKING IN THE MIRROR

I bought a sweater the other day. In the shop I had a conversation with the ubiquitously hot sales chick, that pretty much sums up my problem with girls. Enjoy:

UBIQUITOUSLY HOT SALES CHICK: Would you wear this? (Holding a lilac sweater)
ME: Sounds like a challenge.
I put it on. It looks pretty cool to me...
UHSC: That looks really good on you.
ME: Yeah, but you have to say that. To make a sale.
UHSC: No, we don't get commision here, if I didn't think it looked good I would have recommended something else.
ME: Oh ok. Well thank you.
UHSC: You're pretty stylish aren't you? I really like your shoes. (Referring to the pink laces)
ME: Uh... I guess so...
UHSC: You try really hard don't you?
ME: Heh heh, yeah I suppose.
UHSC: It's a good thing you bought this jumper, I was about to close the store and go to lunch...
ME: Oh.. ok. (Thinking: Ask her to lunch! Ask her to lunch! Then I thought: No, wait. She's WAY too hot to go out with me. She probably gets hit on all the time. And she probably has a boy-friend. Don't bother.)
UHSC: Uh... Is there anything else you needed?
ME: No. I err.. uhh.. no. Thanks. Have a good day.
UHSC: Oh ok. Well, see-ya.

And I walk away. Kicking myself. I should have asked her. What was the worst that could happen? She says no. I'm such an idiot! She was really cool too! Not just generic hot, but stylish and cool. But not in a pretentious way either. Just plain cool. IDIOT!

But if that wasn't bad enough. It turns out this already happened to me, in comic form. Read it here.

From Elliott/Marten... ya bro.

OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!

I've been wallowing in my self this morning, reading past posts of the blog. I read the one where I took the personality test and decided to try it again. Maybe time would have changed my responses. No such luck:

+ Intellect/Openess (Past results: Agreeableness, Extroversion)
- Emotional Stability

I don't know what I'm putting wrong, I get this same result EVERY time. Maybe it's true or something? No, thats just crazy talk.

Try the test for yourself, and tell me your answers.
CLICK HERE

PS. It's for women, but take it just for the sake of it.
IESSO

OH MAN, WHAT THE SH*T?

You know how you had an iPod before anyone else did and you were cool, and when they asked you what it was you pretended to be pissed off but secretly reveled in the fact that you could show off? Remember that feeling? Then remember how everyone suddenly had one and you were no longer cool or special?

Now they sell iPods in vending machines.



The irony is: because they sell them at an airport you'd assume they'd be good to take on flights. But the iPod doesnt have any songs on it. And it's not charged. So the only use is for a present. They should provide some sort of service that allows you to put music on it too. But then again the only people who'd buy them from a vending machine would probably be too self-absorbed but rich to think logically. .... daddy... why didn't you buy me that train set on my birthday?

Check out the link here.

IESSO

BLOODY HELL MAN...

Here is the final version of the anti-fur campaign. I went with the humor strategy rather than the blood and guts scare people aware strategy. I figured if I got people to read I'd get them to think. Putting a masacred seal family grosses people out, some put their gaurd up and others are desistized to that thing.

I based the idea on a fashion magazine and so the puns are reflective of that. They always have puns. Bad ones at that. Not that I'm anyone to judge...

I thought it was funny that one kid my class objected to using the word 'sex'. No prizes for Linus for guessing. Other people who don't know him can get a prize if they really want...

IESSO aka. Laney Bloggs

DID SOMEONE SAY "TIMEWARP?"

WHERE: Hungry Jacks (Burger King)
WHO: Me and Tanner
WHEN: Yesterday (not the fifties)
WHAT: Relax, I'm getting to that...

We're in HJ's eating our really crap food and talking about Tanner's friend that he likes, and she likes him too, but she has a boyfriend, and that's another story. Anyway we're getting pretty deep into conversation when someone interupts us.

"Excuse me, is there anything I can get you?" "Would you like your soft drink refilled?"
It was a hungry Jacks employee asking us if she could help us. It was really weird. And really cool. We were very perplexed, a fast food place with SERVICE?! It's unheard of.

"Uh, no thank you..."
"Okay, well let me clear away your wrappers. Let me know if there is anything you need"
"Ok, thank you VERY much"

She went around all the tables serving customers. Refilling drinks and getting napkins and stuff. Everyone was freakin out! It was like we stepped back in time or something to an era where service existed. And people were nice. And all that nostalgic stuff...

IESSO

I GOTTA GET OUT MORE

Diving-Ms-D
Originally uploaded by Elliott Scott.

I love puns, as we know, but I also like wordplay. And the best form of word play is... Porno Movie Titles. You just gots to love them. Here is a list of my favorites and some in there just for filler. Feel free to gimme some more ideas. I might do a poster out of the best one and send it to you. Hows that for incentive?!

Here we go, hold on:

Jurassic Pork
Honey I Spunked the Kids *
The (Cock)Peicemaker
Poca-hot-ass (Pocahontas)
Beverly Hills Copulator
Romancing the Bone
Good Will Humping
When Harry ate Sally
Tales from the Clit
ET: The Extra-Testicle
The Sexorcist *
Willie Wanker and the Chocolate Factory
Cum-a-lot and the nights on the round table
Star Trek: The Next Penetration *
Hairy Palmer & The Sorcerors Bone
The Fast & The Curious / 2 Fast 2 Curious
Sperm of Endearments *
Inspect Her Gadget *
Diving Miss Daisy
Charlie's Anals
White Men Can't Hump *
dude where's my dildo
cockless in seattle
Big trouble in little vagina *
Moulin Spooge
Schindlers Fist
Tits off fury
Wankenstein
Ridges of Madisons County
Queer and Present Danger *
The Gaytrix *
and the obvious: Shaving Ryan's Private. Although I prefer Slaving Private Ryan

IESSO

* Starred names are favourites

WHO'S YOUR DADDY-O?

I shaved my beard off this morning. No real reason to. Didn't have a date and wanted to look good. Or a job interview and needed to look respectable. Nope. None of that.

{ sigh }

I just felt like that. Maybe it's a literal thing: A New Elliott type thing. Yesterday sucked, but today is a new day, and a new look to boot! YAY! New boots! "No Elliott, that's not what you said..." Don't bother with him. He's nuts.

Anyway I tried a new look. I've never had a 'tache before. I was worried that it'd make me look stereotype gay. Not that I'm against gay people or their stylings, but that just wasn't a look I was going for. Maybe Salvador Dali. He was cool.

I reckon it was beatnik-ish, hence this photo:



And don't worry Benji, I'm not claiming to be a beatnik. I'm not one. My grandfather was though. He read poetry, played bongo drums and scatted like a mo-fo. And he was an architect, living in a loft in New York during the 50's. And wore black turtle-necks. If that's not beatnik what is!?

Take it easy yo! IESSO

TWO FOR THE POST OF ONE

Hey guys I'm sorry that I hadn't posted anything for a while. I've been sick/bored/not in the mood/busy/etc and I apologise.

POST 1 - "KEEP ME POSTED"

WHAT'S HAPPENED SINCE WE LAST SPOKE?
Not much buddy, but I have gone out with Tanner and his girl-friend (notice the hyphen) and we've been having some fun I guess. I went to the casino last night and lost all my money except for one chip. I placed it on 7 on the roulette table and it came up! I won $80 on one bet. I bet a bit more and was betting my last chip (that I was willing to spend after putting $50 in my pocket) I put it on 7 again. Tanners friend told me to put it on 3, her lucky number. 7 came up! DAMN! Oh well.. I still won a total of $80 that night.

WHAT ELSE?
Saw 'Sin City' last night on my computer. It's pretty cool. I recomend it to anyone who likes movies that are visually appealing, and don't mind a LOT of gore. The story is sorta weak, but that doesn't matter too much... It's a really cool movie.

ANYTHING ELSE?
Not really. I did a different version of the anti-fur poster. It's supposed to look like a certain womens fashion magazine which I'll leave anonymous. You never know, any magazine that's named after a cocktail has got to be dangerous. Mmmm cocktails....



POST 2 - "PUTTING THE ME BACK IN MELANCOLY"

I might not be posting much for a little while. I'm kinda feeling blue again. Not the most happy for some reason. I guess I'm sorta kinda REALLY lonely and my confidence is dropping pretty dramatically for some reason. Ugg. It's just a phase I guess. Or maybe one of those days.

Actually today is THE day. Five years ago my (ex)girlfriend and I went on our first date. It was nice, and things went well from there. For another 3 1/2 years. And we've been apart for 1 1/2 years now. And I'm mostly over it, but not quite. I think I've stopped loving her. But now I just have this empty feeling in me. And my medication doesn't help. I take it to control my insane emotions but what used to be a roller-coaster is now one of those rides that kids go on in shopping centers.



I'm Thomas the Coin-Operated Tank Engine, Signing off.

INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS

Ok, so that was officially one of the weakest links I've ever made... Invasion of the Body Snatchers --> Pod People --> iPod. ANYWAY: I've sold my iPod. So the offer doesn't stand anymore. Sorry if you missed out. I'll let you know if I want to sell one in the future, which is most likely, but not for a while.

iPod photo here I come!

IESSO

HOME, HOME ON THE RANGE

I don't think they had Jewish cowboys, but a when a beautiful blonde girl tells me to wear a cowboy hat and pose for her, who am I to argue? WHO!? So anyway, this is an image taken with my super snazzy camera instead of Jenni's good camera, in order to get some indication of what the final images will look like. Pretty cool, and pretty silly. I love it!

NOTE: Smoking isn't cool. And photoshopped smoke is even less cool! Don't smoke kids, and if you pose with a cigarette, don't add the smoke in later, it just seems try-hard.

IESSO

I'M ON THE EXPRESS TRAIN TO SQUARESVILLE MAN

Colin (my teacher) likes the image of the two chicks arguing a lot, more than the actual poster, much to my dismay. To to oblige him (brown-nose if you will) I did this version of the poster. I didn't think it was fair to say that it was a seperate poster without at least changing the color scheme. And don't worry about the text, it's just there for show.

I personally like this color scheme better, and would've used it for the original poster, but they don't match the bar very well.
IESSO

LCD (Lowest Common Denominator)

Because no-one either understood or liked the previous version of my anti-fur campaign poster, here is a new one with a brand new slogan. It's pretty literal really... "A Crime Against Nature" referring to both the ugly dude and the killing of animals. It's not as good as "Fashion Victim", but I guess that's why it's been used before. My slogan's probably been used too, but let's hope not.

Below is a second version, which is even more obvious. Let me know which one works better. I'm totally running out of time! AAAHHH!!



IESSO

PENNY FUR YOUR THOUGHTS

Fur-Campaign1
Originally uploaded by Elliott Scott.

A lame pun. Sorry about that.

Ok, so I need some feedback on this poster. It's for an anti-fur campaign. There's some questions I need answered:

1. Do you understand the link between the guys appearance and cruelty?
2. Does he look good or bad in his fur coat?
3. Do you understand the sarcasm?
4. Do you understand the true message?
5. Would it make you not buy fur?
6. What do you think the target audience would be? (Meaning, who is the poster designed for?)
7. What is your overall impression of the concept and the appearance?

Thanks for your help. I really appreciate it. IESSO

iPODLOUNGES BUYER'S GUIDE

Hey kids! Check out this awesome guide for eveything iPod! It's really really good. And helpful and informative and they're totally not paying me to say this!

Click HERE if you want to see the buyer's guide. OR HERE if you want to go the the iPodlounge main page.

REMEMBER! Not being payed to say this.

BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS

I found this photo on my camera, thought it was funny....

Will and I got something to eat before class at about 9.00am the other day. So this is breakfast. We both went to get our food and met at a table somewhere in the middle of the food court. I just thought it was funny what we instinctively choose to eat. By the way this joke isn't funny unless you realise I'm American and Will is Asian. I think he's from Hong Kong, but I'm not certain. Ok, so he's eating sushi, which is from Japan, but whatever!

It's more a reflection on fat Americans than Asians. Will said something interesting. I'm paraphasing:
"If Americans eat what you're eating (chili dogs + fries) it's ignorant. If Asians eat sushi or noodles or whatever it's cultured [meaning it's part of their culture]". I thought that was odd. It's very true. And it kinda annoys me, because I LIKE chili dogs and I got one because I wanted one, not because I don't know better! DANG IT!

IESSO

CARTOON DEATHMATCH

I'm interested in knowing which of the two styles of female character people like better. Do we like the retro one, or the modern one? I personally like the modern one, but that's just me. I'd particularly like to hear from hipster chicks...

Thanks

IESSO

PS. I promise to stop talking about this poster soon.

DONE! AND DONE!

I REALLY like this. And I never say that. This would have to be the first thing I've EVER done that I'm pleased with. I reckon it's groovy. I like the colors, the typefaces, the illustrations and the fact that I did it all from scratch. I used some fonts, but altered them heavily (ok, so I didn't alter Trade Gothic but whatever) And the illustrations were based on other styles but I drew them myself and added my own style to it. So basically this design is ME! It's everything I like. I (like always) add a picture of myself in the work, and the chick is some ideal girl of mine... I dunno. Anyway, I'm happy! I made some minor changes, mainly changing the chick from a 60's mod to a 00's hipster. Good change methinks.

IESSO

JORGE POSTER 1

Hey guys, here is a poster I've done for Jorge Bar + Club in 'bane. Could you please give me some feedback. Don't forget, I like my feedback candy coated, so if you have some criticism, please make it constructive, and not just: "It's crap!" THANKS! Here is what my opinion is:

WHAT I LIKE:
- The colors. They match the colors of the bar, and have a modern feel to them, but also a classic 'retro' style too. Well suited to jazz.
- The type. I think it works, but some of you may think otherwise.
- The illustrations, although these are only filler people,... I will replace them with jazz musicians in the very near future.
- The way that the spotlights reflect the shape of the cocktail glasses. Visual symetry rocks!

WHAT I'M UNSURE ABOUT:
- The arrangement of all the elements. Ok, so the people will change, and that'll probably change things, but still... It feels a bit top heavy.
- The colored text? I like it better than an all-white version, but maybe you've got some ideas.
- The important info. Now you must remember that this poster is for inside the bar itself, so advertising the bar doesnt have to be that important, but it still seems lacking.

Thats about it. You don't need to write that much, but some feedback would be good. Even in the form of YES and NO. I know people read this site, so there is no excuse!

Thanks again, IESSO

Ok, so below is a revised version. Linus recommended changing the typeface on 'Wall St' so something less conventional. I like the long'n'skinny format better than the standard as well.... I also added some extra details and more info allowed by the page size. Overall I'm quite pleased with it so far. Some changes still need to be made though. Elliott

IS THAT KELLY OSBORNE?

Punks
Originally uploaded by Elliott Scott.

This is somewhat of an open letter to a reader by the name Benji. He/she has recently quelched my hopes and dreams of being 'Indie' by telling me that I could never be indie.

I will admit that I don't really know what 'indie', 'emo' or 'punk' is. Or at least not well enough to define it. Benj seems to be the expert... maybe he or she can help me out on this.

Who is 'indie'? These kids aren't are they? I'm not like them... they're punk aren't they? But not really, because they're smiling. And they didn't even know what that hand signal was that I got them to do. Isn't that the first thing they teach kids in Punk 101?

Or are they emo? The Kelly Osborne chick seems kinda pissed off with the world. And she's got a vintage sort of skirt on. Aren't these emo things? And those socks? Aren't they an emo thing?

Help me out here, give me some guidance on how to be 'indie'. I've made it my new mission in life to be in a clique, and much more importantly prove you wrong. In a non-malicious way of course. Nothing personal. I just enjoy a good challenge.

IESSO

AUSTRALIA'S TOUGH NEW ANTI-TERROR LAWS:

I forgot to mention this:

I was on the train to the valley yesterday when something kinda disturbing happened. There was two guys who were sort of dodgy looking, but not in a cliche way, just shifty eyes and weird manuerisms and they sat in the aisle next to me. There was no-one else on the train. They reached into their backpack, pulled out a package, placed it gently on the seat, and left the train at the next stop. Weird. Kind of frightening. The package wasn't really strange looking, kind of forgettable really, but it was the way they handled it that was frightening. I didn't open it. I got of at the stop at the valley and told this to the ticket attendant.

ME: I just thought I should let you know about something strange on the train. Someone left a mysterious package on the train heading to Shorncliffe. I just thought you should know... you know, just in case.
TA: There is nothing we can do.
ME: Uh... maybe you could check it out. Just in case...
TA: We can't do anything.

Ok, so that's not good. What if was a bomb or something, however unlikely that is, it should still be treated with importance. I try my luck (and potentially the luck of other passengers) with someone else; the person in the booth selling tickets.

ME: Um, I thought I should tell you that someone left a dodgy looking package on the train. Maybe you should check it out.
PITBST: Really?! Oh, that's not good. Which train was it?
ME: The one heading to Shorncliffe.
PITBST: Yeah, thank you for telling us....

He got on the walkie-talkie immediately to the control central to let them know. And he filled out a bunch of forms straight away too.

I'll bet the ticket attendant was in on it. .... Bum bum bummmmmmm IESSO

I (The Cheat) THE CHEAT

If you don't know who The Cheat is yet, shame on you!

Also, I went to the city today to research my essay: "Can Cartoons count to 10?: Four fingers, clothed animals and other cartoon quirks investigated" but the library was closed. Anyway I went into the city with my rusty (it's plastic?!), trusty (it broke on me) camera! I meandered into the valley and found some cool street art. I just love that stuff. I wish I could do stencils.

Also, I've done some nifty desktops for my die-hards fans (me) but you can download them too if you want. I doubt you would, but at least the option is there.

Lastly I promise, today's/todaies blog is hyperlink-o-licious OR hyperlink-tastic OR MAYBE EVEN hyperlinkerrifc. Hmm maybe not, that's a bit much.

IESSO

RAMENSAURUS!

ramensaurus
Originally uploaded by Elliott Scott.

Hey everyone. If you haven't noticed already, I've added a little meter down the bottom of the site to let me know how many people read it... In one day 23 people opened it. Well, actually that number is a bit misleading because it counts everytime someone opens the page, including me, so I'd say around 15 is more accurate...

BUT you know what this means? It means people are actually reading my stupid site. AND that means I have to put stuff up regularly for the vultures like you to read. Geez, it never ends with you people! More more more! It's a never ending pressure that I don't need!

I kid, I love you guys! SERIOUSLY! Thanks for reading. It's not a burden to put crap up on the site, but a pleasure. Thank you. Honestly, you guys are cool. And you obviously have excellent taste, because you're reading my site.

A quick word about the image, it's from Engrish.com. Czech out the hirarity! Nothing beats a dinosaur with sunnies, except maybe a dinosaur with sunnies, eating ramen and a bad caption! BOOYAH!

I think this photo sums it up nicely. They (I) don't call it Mondayne for nothing. I haven't left the house in a week. In fact I'm not even sure what day it is. IESSO

HAPPY BELATED VALENTINES DAY

Check THIS out. BEST FLASH CARTOON EVER!

WOOT GMT+10.00

YAY! I finally changed the time zone to Brisbania time! BOOYAH! And there are a few other minor changes too... but who cares about that, ACCURATE TIME! But much more importantly:

On my birthday (May 7) I am doing something so amazing, so oustanding, so utterly nerdy, it requires one of those international days of whatever... It's FREE COMIC BOOK DAY! WOOT! There is a fairly large range of comics being given away ranging from the lame to the less-lame... but who cares, it's FREE!!!!!! Go to the site, check your city, pick a comic, and wait impatiently for another 36 days until FCBD arrives!!!!

I'm gonna get them all... even if that requires wearing a fake moustache... on top of my real moustache. { shifty eyes }

WOULD YOU BUY A DESIGN FROM THIS MAN?

Indy McEmo
Originally uploaded by Elliott Scott.

The beard is nearing tolerable-ness... It almost looks like a beard, and the insane itching is easing up. I'm nearly indie. All I need is to be in a band, playing bass, and maybe lose 15kg's as well...

Soon my pretties, soon.
IESSO

Also note the eventual return of me in my profile has... uh... returned (??) HOORAY PREDICTABILITY!

MUSTTYPEREALLYFAST,NOTIMEFORSPACES ORGOODSUBJECTHEADINGS

Short post today; too busy! MUCH TO BUSY! They don't like some of my drawings, and others have the obligatory and ubiquitous (BIG WORDS YAY!) errors... And I got Linus to do a cover for me, but they don't like it. Oh well. IESSO

THE CHORT'S GONE MAD WITH POWER!

To stay sane, and awake I've added some silly personal jokes to my drawings. This little dude, the white guy, not the yellow guy, has always been a sort of self portrait and a signature of mine, but this image is showing a rude employee. Pretty literal huh? Gimme a break, I've been working straight for three days, over two nights without sleep... I am tired. But nearly-sorta-kinda done.

If you don't understand the subject heading, check out HOMESTAR RUNNER!

IESSO

YO MAMMA

Yo-Mamma
Originally uploaded by Elliott Scott.

This has gots to be one of my favourite 'Yo Momma/Mamma' jokes. I admit that I have completely no idea what it means, but anything that endorses mathematical elitism has just got to be cool. Nothings cooler than pocket protectors!

Maybe someone will understand it and inform the less knowledged readers and me... I mean I. I mean I 'meant' I.

meESSO, I meant I again.

DO I MAKE YOU HORNY BABY?

Fancy-a-Shag
Originally uploaded by Elliott Scott.

I think I might redo this one with a different, scruffier looking dog. I'll try to find one that looks like the tramp in Lady and the Tramp.

Not satisfied with this one yet.

IESSO

COINKIDINK? I THINK NOT

Since I heard about that weird coincidence/them using my image, I was trying to find some more things like that. The results were negative (I don't have cancer) but I did find a song buy Elliott Smith (who is cool and I like his music) called Amanda. Weird for me, but probably no-one else. Haven't listened to it yet, but I'm assuming its sad.

ALSO I'm #3 when you type in 'Elliott Scott' in a google search. WOOT! AND #1 when you type in Elliott Mondayne. DOUBLE WOOT!

IESSO

WHAT THE CRAP!?

Someone kindly informed me in my previous post of something rather bizarre. I apparently work for a design company and I didn't even know about it! BOOYAH! So check it out for yourself if you want, although it's the same as the screenshot, so why would you bother? Also on an interesting note; I love it how they removed the mole on my chin and totally added some shin to my forehead. SWEET! I've been airbrushed!

Thanks anonymous,... if that even is your real name! IESSO

I CAN'T HELP MYSELF

I was going to start out my post with the line "Negative body image is such an ugly thing" but then I realised it had a pretty good albeit obvious pun in it. I think of puns without even trying anymore. I'm like a poet and I had been previously unaware of it.

ANYWAY - Negative Body Image. As you know I've started lifting weights and growing a beard. The beard is thin at best. Although it has only been a week. It still looks like I need to shave REALLY badly, and not a crap attempt at a beard. That's soon. And the weights. Oh the weights. I am not very strong, so I started out with the only weights I had 5kg ones. And that was a challenge. Now it's not. And maybe its all in my head but I think I can SEE the difference. And as I was looking at myself I noticed my increasingly flabby gut. It's not hugely fat or anything, but it's certainly not as flat and 'nearly six-packish' like it used to be. Maybe I'll start cycling again. Or eating less crappy food. Or food in general. Or just stop eating in general. Yeah, I like that idea. Nothing says 'starving artist' like someone who is starving, wears op-shop clothes and has a crap beard.

IESSO

NO, YOU DON'T GOT IT!

I don't even know what that subject heading means. It was supposed to be a pun on goth, but failed. Miserably. So anyway, I don't understand how goths can be totally in love with this movie (Nightmare Before Christmas). I totally love it, but I don't claim to have a black heart, no soul or be in cohoots with the devil... If they're so miserable, why do they like such a fun movie. I reckon it's because they're childish. Not in a bad way, a good way... The TRUE goths are too depressed for this movie.

ANYWAY I want the shirt company to make this one, even though the chances are slim. Legal issues and all that. But I want to wear one. Maybe I'll just get a screenprinter to print it for me. Or I'll buy a kit. Or something. It's cool. I'm gonna do one for girls (or guys) I HEART JACK and have a picture of Jack Skellington.

That's all fernow. IESSO

NO SERIOUSLY, YOU SHUCK

You-Shuck
Originally uploaded by Elliott Scott.

I don't have a lishp, you just shuck. Shorry.

ANYWAY ... pink bits! Oops, sorry, I was trying not to say that.

I'm Elliott Scott, NOT thinking about pink bits (and whenever you try not to think of something, you naturally think of it), signing off.

PINK BITS! They taste kinda like fish....

MORE DJ'S SLANDER

Now don't get me wrong, I totally have loads of respect for people who can mix disc's and take something and add there own spin to it (pun unintended) BUT not everyone who calls themselves a DJ can do that. AND Even if they can are they musicians? Perhaps. Perhaps not. I don't call myself an artist when I take other peoples photos and type and mix it together. That's design.

ANYWAY this is a redevelopment of an older idea. They can't use the old one because it has fine lines, which are hard to print. I actually think this new one is better anyway, and it probably works just as well without the second record (the one with the DJ) So, uh, yeah... that's it. IESSO

ZEE UBLICHE VERDÃCHTIGE (The Usual Suspects)

prisoner
Originally uploaded by Elliott Scott.

WHERE: Walking home
WHEN: Just then
WHO: Me fool! Who else?

WHAT: I'm walking home after getting a diet coke. A cop car goes by. Stops. Reverses. Turns the lights on, the searchlight and the blue-and-red flashing one and proceeds to interogate me.

ME: Is there a problem officer (jokingly)
COP: What's your name?
ME: Uh.. Elliott...
COP: Where are you going?
ME: Uh, I .. er.. was just going to get some coke. I mean a coke. Well, I just got one.
COP: Where?
ME: At the petrol station at the end of Discovery Drive.
COP: Do you have any ID?
ME: No. I've got my bank card though...
COP: Let me see it. He looks at it. That's fine. Where were you going?
ME: To get a coke.
COP: It's pretty late isn't it?
ME: Well I work late..
COP: Uhuh. Doing what?
ME: Uh, graphic design.
COP: Why didn't you drive?
ME: I don't have a car... (starting to get bored/annoyed at the pointless interogation)
COP: Ok.. fine. Where do you live?
ME:
COP: Fine.

An entirely random story without any sort of punchline, but something I though blog-worthy. It was weird. And if I was one of those commentators in Southpark watching the whole thing I would have said: "I haven't seen a jew questioned like that since 1935!" So I guess it goes to show, there is a school like the old-old-school. I'll get back to my ghetto and start wearing a star patch on my shirt from now on.

IESSO

SAUL A FARCE

I'm not feeling particularly sad or anything, and the photo isn't of my ex-girlfriend, I just enjoy teasing emo's so gosh dang much! And don't we all.

IESSO

Oh, icy

I see now... why I should not talk to my parents and hide in my room. My mom wanted to talk (complain) to me about my dad. I, being the good son, ever-listening, comforting, acting as a parent, an ear to talk to, a shoulder to cry on, a psychiatrist, a psycologist and the devils advocate, listened. But when I say listen I mean fear for my sanity and life. You know that scene in the Simpsons where Bart has to repress his memories of Homer crying in his bed. Yeah. That. Execept it was my mom, and I was sitting on the floor.

So without spilling the details of the conversation, which should be left private (and is boring and repetitive and repetitive) I'll just say that talking to my mom after she's had QUITE a few glasses of wine is like treading on thin ice wearing stilts with chainsaws on the bottoms. No matter what I said she wouldn't stop yelling. And it wasn't the rational calm yelling (huh?) no, it was the mumbling, whisper-yell that only the truly angry and drunk yell. It was fun. And today has been a lot of fun too. Because apparently I've deeply insulted her, just by pointing out some character flaws that she asked me about! and asuming that what we had was a conversation not a yell-fest.

So now she's mad at me because I listened to the 'enemy' and was 'brainwashed'. Yes, that's happened. I couldn't form an opinion on my own, no, I needed to be brainwashed by my father. It's not possible that she really does have these aspects of her personality, that'd be just plain crazy. By the way, one of those aspects is holding a grudge... so I'm in it for the long-haul. HOORAY!

IESSO

The last pun?

Thanks for the 'support' from you guys. Don't worry/do worry; I will be making more pun shirts, but not for a little while. I'be got uni work to do. And I've been putting it aside for too long. Gotta catch up on it...

IESSO

An Epiphone

I'm getting pretty sick of doing these dumb-ass t-shirt designs and crappy illustrations. I can't wait till they're done so I can get back to doing some REAL design work. Lino should appreciate my sentiment on this issue.

IESSO

WELL HE IS

BB-is-Tivo-ing-you
Originally uploaded by Elliott Scott.

There ARE better things to watch besides you. Ya egotistical bast'ds.

IESSO

I thought it was Nokia...?!

Czech this out. Freakin' hilarious! With a capital High. I so want one!
Here are some links:
POKIA WEBSITE
POKIA eBAY LISTINGS

DIG THAT FUNKY MUSIC WHITE BOY...

Beetnik
Originally uploaded by Elliott Scott.

Puns abound in this image! Let's see, we've got:
1. 'Dig'
2. Groovy 'Beet'
3. He's a beatnik
4. He's groovy (which isn't really that punnish)
uh.. I think that's it. But still, 3.5 puns is more than normal!

And if it makes it any sillier I was listening to 'Green Onions' while I was posting it up...

IESSO

EVERYBODY HAS AIDS!

I overheard the neighbor kids talking...

HOMIE KID: Did you know that it takes a litre of saliva to get AIDS, but only a drop of blood or a drop of sperm?
PUNK KID: No, I heard that you can get AIDS in a second, from just a drop of sperm....
HK: Yeah, that's what I said. A drop of sperm. A litre of saliva.
GOTH KID: Who would drink a litre of saliva anyway?
HK: How do you know? Have you ever measured?
PK: I'll bet my sister has.
GK: Who'd drink a litre of sperm?!
HK: NO! A drop of sperm. A litre of saliva.
PK: I'll bet my sister did.

FREE DRINK!?

I went out last night because it was thursday, and something about St. Patty's or something, but anyway I got a free drink card at the entrance of the club (don't even get me started about going to a nightclub instead of a dark and dingy bar) anyway, it said free drink. So I ordered a beer. A Heineken. It wasn't free. Oh no. Far from it. $9.80 And it wasn't even cold. Worst. Bar. Ever.

IESSO

GROWING, GROWING, GRONE!

Uh.. yeah, that's right! I'm growing a beard. And on an urelated note, I'm also lifting weights. One thing to make me more attractive, and one less attractive to the opposite sex. Hooray! We'll see which one I give up on first. Pain or itching! Yahooey!

IESSO

THE FEELING IS MUTUAL

WHO: Me, of course
WHERE: Harbor Town. The discount clothing heaven! And by heaven, I mean place.
WHY: Stop judging me!
WHEN: The other day.

WHAT: I went into a discount surf clothing store, possibly looking for a new sweatband. There was the sales chick (who was ubiquitously hot of course!) trying to assemble a mannequin. But it was the way she was doing that was goofy. She had one hand on the 'breast' and one on the 'crotch' trying to either put on, or take off it's cloths.

Ubiquitously hot sales chick: OH! I... err... uh... I wasn't molesting it! If that's what you think...
ME: Yeah right. I'm not here to judge...
UHSC: No, seriously. I know it looks bad....
ME: Do you want a hand.......
ME: OH! I mean did you need any help!
ME: With the assembly! Not the molesting....
ME: Oh forget it.
I walk to the furthest part of the store in shame.
UHSC: Uh... yeah, actually I do need a hand.
ME: Oh, ok...
She gets me to hold the 'breasts' (of course) while she struggles with the legs.
UHSC: No, actually, I needed a hand.... can you pass that hand over there?
*We both pause at the BAD joke...*

We walk away never to speak again, too ashamed to look each other in the eyes...

EVEN I HAVE STANDARDS

I'm checkin' out my competition: other t-shirt companys. Particularly the semi-vulgar ones that t-shirts.com seems to like so much. And I stumbled across one that even I think is too far:

"If I wanted to hear you speak I would have taken my cock out of your mouth"

I mean seriously, that is not funny, it is vulgar, offensive, and wasn't designed well or anything. I think the quote: "What were you thinking man?!" fits nicely here. It's just so bad. So very, very bad. If I ever do anything that falls to this level, or even below it (if that's possible?) LET ME KNOW! Send an irrate email, leave a post of doom, or best yet; punch me in the face.. or crotch as you see fit.

IESSO

ROSEWOOD IS THE NEW COOPER BLACK

Sad-Clown
Originally uploaded by Elliott Scott.

Not my first choice, but it was all I could find without trying in the slightest. So yeah, the passion is gone for now. Need to get away from here...

IESSO

PS. Don't worry, its not a self-portrait, I'm not sad, but I can't concentrate very well cooped up in my room, avoiding my parents and their wordless, silent anger...

NOT IN THE MOOD

I've been planning to do this picture for a while now.. Lino has been egging me on. I finally got around to doing it. It looks good, but I'm not happy. I just don't feel inspired at the moment. But I don't think it has to do with the work...



Check out the REAL iPod shuffle ad. and buy something! You know you want to.

SUMPIN FUNNY

Somethin funny happened today that I was all like: "I'm so gonna put that on the blog".. but I forgot what it was. If you remember what I was thinking of, please let me know.

---

My parents are getting a divorce. And I feel a huge amount of shame. I can't look them in the eye. I know every kid thinks it, but if only I had done something different, if only I had let them talk to me more about their problems, if only I was more of a therapist. If only....

Not a very funny post today. But a post nonetheless.
IESSO

Not-ah!

Puns ARE funny! What they say is a lie. I'm not HIM!

Also

WHAT: Driving around thinking of somethin' to do.
WHERE: Surfers Paradise
WHEN: Oh, last week I reckon.
WHO: Me and someone named Adam T, no wait, that's too obvious, we'll call him A. Tanner.

THE STORY: Driving around looking for 'action'... we see a chick in a phonebooth.
AT: Is that a naked chick?!
We do a u-turn, drive 'round frantic to see some boobidge..



No.. it's just a fat guy. With man-boobs.





Story o' my life.

INDY McEMO-PANTS? MOI?

Linus has begun/began/beginned reading this site called QUESTIONABLE CONTENT , it's an on-line comic. I've read the whole thing too. But there is a problem. He reckons I'm the main character. He thinks its like reading all about me. I don't think so *clicks fingers reminscent of some sort of mad black woman* He's superficially similar at best.

I'm not 'indie' I'm individual. And not 'emo', emotional. Shut up. Just.. shut up. So the question I pose to you is: read the comic, vote. Who is right? ME or LINUS. Am I the dude in the comic?

IESSO

COME'N GIT IT

WHERE: Southbank Markets
WHY ON EARTH: Wasting time
WHOM: Linotype and I
WHUH?: We're meandering around the stalls killin time between class. Our last class was talking about the anti-fur campaign we've got to do.. and we come across a stall selling the glorious products made from the bodies of the cute and cuddly. There was kangaroo skin rugs, roo paw backscratchers, random crocodile heads and my favorite, toads that have been emptied out and made into purses. Then we notice something that sorta looks like a knuckle.

ME (to shop keeper): Are they what I think they are?
SK (weird accent): Kungaroo testucles. You want testicles, you-no where to cum.
ME: Yeah. Right on.

Damn you internet! DAMN YOU TO HELL!

I apologise if you see the same post a couple of times... there is some wacky glitch in the Matrix of my blog, and I am trying to find my Neo to fix it. Hopefully it'll be righted soon. Thanks for the patience.

Ellorpheus

CRAZY MAUX-FAUX

FAUX FUR
Originally uploaded by Elliott Scott.

I love puns. And even though its not actually pronounced fox, it is still one of my favourite puns. And coupled with a chick in a little black dress... how could it go wrong?*

*Don't answer that. THIS is how it could go wrong I suppose. But I like it anyway. And isn't that all that matters? No? Well screw you, ya bunch of pinko commies...

NARC!

ALL THE CLICHES

warmup
Originally uploaded by Elliott Scott.

Linus the big jerk sent me this picture. At least he's reading the site I suppose, but what a jerk. It's not just the literal insult of me being a design whore (which I can't deny) OH NO! It's much more than that, he's making fun of me designergraphically, is really mean, and WAY nerdier...

The fonts, the tight spacing between the letters, the colors, the HORRIBLE texture that is SSSssoooo "I'm just learning how to use Photoshop, Oh Look! Halftone filters!" .... etc, etc.

All I got's to say is: BRING IT ON!

IESSO

PS. I'm kinda busy this week, so I gotta postpone the battle till next week (such an odd thing to say?!)

Mondayne-Shirt

Mondayne-Shirt
Originally uploaded by Elliott Scott.

This one is just for me. I doubt anyone else would wear it. But I suppose if there is enough interest in this, or any shirt that I do that isn't being produced, I can get it done myself...

IESSO

LET THE LAMES BEGIN

Nerdy-boy
Originally uploaded by Elliott Scott.

I am now a nerd. I have glasses. Please feel free to taunt and tease as you see fit, I deserve it. On the other hand, I have glasses, so I am smarter than you. You'll end up working for just above minimum wage at McDonalds, and I'll be a CEO of some cool company which will eventually go bankrupt because we invested all our money in some new technology that was never fully understood. But before I leave the office for the last time, I mysteriously get locked in some sort of plasma or gamma ray room and get exposed to the material and mutate. You on the other hand will reveal that you are not just a lowly burger jockey, but are in fact a supreme being sent from space to protect this fragile planet from creatures such as what I've become. And an epic battle will of course ensue, with the outcome determinned by the cliche-est of cliche's, you forced to overcome your inner demons in order to slay the literal demon that you see before you. I on the other hand will be slaughtered by your mighty weapon and just on the brink of death realise the errors of my ways; if I had shared the technology that I miserously horded none of this would have happened and a blissful utopia would have resulted. Alas, the greed of one, outways the need of the many.

All that, just cuz I got glasses. Talk about megalomania!
IESSO

LORD KITCHENER says BOOYAH!

Drop-Out-Now
Originally uploaded by Elliott Scott.

Uh, don't ask me to explain that one, I bloody well can't. So don't ask.

Way back when, when my dad was my age this was a big saying. Or so he says. So he got me to turn it into a shirt. I thought I was something war related, seeing as though he was a hippy and all, so I made it war related. The dude with the 'tache is Lord Kitchener and he was a guy trying to get the Brits to join the war effort. And he's vaguely familiar in a retro sorta way, so that's always good.

But now that I'm looking at it, I think I might change the slogan to: "Your country doesn't need you: DROP OUT NOW". Which of course is a play on the mentality of "JOIN THE ARMY: Your country needs you" or something along those lines.

And then I was thinking of maybe doing something else in a similar political note: "Your country needs you: DODGE THE DRAFT TODAY!".

There's nothing like a political shirt to get the populous motivated. Nothing.

!#%%) (aka 13550)

I CAN'T STAND THE HEAT

Generic-Punk
Originally uploaded by Elliott Scott.

I'm not saying that I'm running out of ideas, there are a few brewing in my head, and I'm not saying that I have writers block, I'm not saying that at all.

What I am saying is that I am starting to feel the pressure. Those drawings were due a few weeks ago, and they're not anywhere near done. PLUS I have some photo montaging to do, and a cover for each book.

AND then I have to submit 10-15 design to the t-shirt people by the end of the week (this week, TODAY!) and I've only done about 8 that are worth sending. Not that ANY are worth sending, but yeah...

Starting to get nervous. And on top of all this my laptop needs to back to the shop AGAIN! It's electrocuting me. Yeah, that's right. And that ain't good. But it'll be hard to find the time between the illustrations, the shirts, uni and me being flustered. PLUS I want to ask out the messy haired girl at uni. I dunno her name. That'd probably be a good start.

IESSO

QUT-logo

QUT-logo
Originally uploaded by Elliott Scott.

QUT

It's more than a univeristy, a place to learn and socialise. It's more than a breeding ground for young niave college chicks, it's even more than a lifestyle. It's a philosophy of life.

QUIT: The Philosophy for the Real World.

Ok, so if you're not aware of the university and it's slogan this isn't gonna make much sense to you. But dont worry, you're not missing out on much. It's a pretty lame joke.

IE550

PARTY OF ONE?

I'm sitting here in the Q st M (Queen St Mall). A lot has changed since I used to sit here and mooch. For starters they don't have free wireless internet access anymore. Which sucks. It was good. And ... ok, that's about all that's changed, but whatever.

I just went to lunch at the casino. The great mooch! But it was different this time. I used to go with Dermo and or anyone else we could drag along. It was a great deal, $5 gets you a two course meal and bottomless coffee. That was a year ago. Now you get the same thing, but for $10. Which is still good I suppose. But Dermo was there. And I heard the loneliest words possible: "Table for one?". That's right up there with going to see a movie alone. Not cool, not cool at all. So yeah, no Dermo, no crazy-cheap food, no more mooching.

Oh yeah, and as always the casino plays music that I reckon is cool. Either its weird of them, or weird of me... Goldfrapp was playing. Dermo introduced to the frapp. And then Sixpence None the Richer (Remember the post on LANEY BOGGS?); 'There She Goes'. Which would have been very saddening if the memories were of a girl. Or at least a guy that I called a girls name. .... *pause* .... yeah, I'll let you make your mind up on this one. I thought it was weird. I was all sad from Goldfrapp playing, and then in a perfect movie style Sixpence came on. It was perfect for a movie. But not perfect for me, which made it all the weirder.

I dunno what I'm trying to say. Miss ya dude! Hope Ireland is good, it had bloody-well better be!

End of an era. Or days of yore. Or some sort of appropriate cliche.

IESSO

BOTTOM O' THE BARREL

If you cast your minds all the way back to November 30, Two thousand ought-four, you'll remember me doing this slogan and another design that went with it. Now don't get me wrong, I liked Linus's's version of lettering, but I felt kinda guilty using it, so I did my own. I generally like the new version better than the old one (typo aside), and a hell of a lot better than the original.

I pose this question to you:
Would you wear this? In particular, would Linus wear this? Because as we all know, I don't design for clients, or myself, I design for the approval of my friends. And if they say its cwap, its cwap.

IESSO

PS. I've FINALLY worked out how to do things on this site, like insert big pictures, bold text, italics and how to include hyperlinks. And not a moment too soon.