PINCH AND A PUNCH FOR THE FIRST DAY OF THE MONTH*

I HAVE BEEN WORKING MYSELF SICK on this project at work. But because I've signed a non-disclosure agreement at work I can't put it up as per my usual style. No works in progress, BUT now that it's done I can show you the final thing!

It's a calendar for an named security company to get the employee's to use the branding guideline. As I called it in the original concept "Putting the fun back in to rigid adherence to branding guidelines and structured corporate identity!" FUN!
Anyway the work itself is only half the battle, it was the process that made it such a rewarding journey.

Original brief was to be FUN! FUNNY! NICE TO LOOK AT! I came up with a few concepts and they were rejected outright for being too fun. There was a great character named Séan who would threaten people for breaking the brand guidelines. It was funny. And fun. But they said he was too much of a cliche, and they actively avoid using stereotypical images.

We settled on a simple outline on photo style, which was clean, efficient and easy to understand. Not entirely fun, but ok nonetheless. After 4 different rounds of concepts, each being entirely rejected based on some MAJOR problem (the jacket was the wrong colour, person not smiling enough) we decided the best way to do it was to pose for photos in the poses they wanted and trace them. I got UNG to help out too, because they were VERY MUCH AGAINST using just a man.

They were EXTREMELY picky with all of the poses we used. They wanted a certain look but could not describe to us what that was. My boss asked for some better directions and they replied "We are not going to do your job for you. You are the designer. You should be able to interpret our brief!" I thought it was funny that even though they said that we had to do their job by writing the text and intepretting scribbles to be writing or images.

Anyway; We posed. We took photos. They were DEEPLY CONCERNED because the girl was too 'ethnic' looking, and the man was too white. They wanted me to switch them. My boss asked "What bloody difference does it make!?" they replied "Woman should be white". They say they were actively against stereotypes, but of course a black security guard and a white receptionist aren't at all stereotypes!

My boss explained that becuase they were so picky with the EXACT poses required from the illustrations we were unable to trace stock photos, and had to get the staff to pose for the illustrations. Their reply was "You can't honestly expect me to believe you have a HISPANIC working for you!" UNG was insulted. I was shocked. My boss was furious.

He says that this client was the worst he has every dealt with. It's fine for a client to be picky, they're paying a lot of money and should have things exactly how they want, we should bend over backwards to get things how they want, thats fair enough. BUT when a client is rude, arrogant, condescending, selfish, demanding and ungrateful (my boss's words) then things get nasty. AND on top of that, racist, then it's someone I never want to work with again...

Late last night we got sign off, after 3 weeks of solid work, and a previous 2 months of concept work by me and the person who I replaced when he left. And not before 2 hours of arguing that matching a metallic gold with a CMYK wasn't possible.

It was a nightmare. I've been really stressing about it. Working really hard. And not really being able to relax. I did wake up a few times with a panic attack though. That's always fun.


IESSO

DISCLAIMER: The opinions of this post do not reflect the opinions of the company. I have no issue with the security company either, I think they're very professional and well managed and an excellent service. I do have a major issue with the person we dealt with, and if any offense is taken by said person I will consider us equal.

* ALTERNATE TITLES: "THE CLIENT IS A CoUNTry GIRL" or "THE AMAZING ADVENTURES OF INDETERMINATE-ORIGIN-GIRL AND ARTIFICIALLY-AGED-MAN!"