HAPPY BELATED VALENTINES DAY

Check THIS out. BEST FLASH CARTOON EVER!

WOOT GMT+10.00

YAY! I finally changed the time zone to Brisbania time! BOOYAH! And there are a few other minor changes too... but who cares about that, ACCURATE TIME! But much more importantly:

On my birthday (May 7) I am doing something so amazing, so oustanding, so utterly nerdy, it requires one of those international days of whatever... It's FREE COMIC BOOK DAY! WOOT! There is a fairly large range of comics being given away ranging from the lame to the less-lame... but who cares, it's FREE!!!!!! Go to the site, check your city, pick a comic, and wait impatiently for another 36 days until FCBD arrives!!!!

I'm gonna get them all... even if that requires wearing a fake moustache... on top of my real moustache. { shifty eyes }

WOULD YOU BUY A DESIGN FROM THIS MAN?

Indy McEmo
Originally uploaded by Elliott Scott.

The beard is nearing tolerable-ness... It almost looks like a beard, and the insane itching is easing up. I'm nearly indie. All I need is to be in a band, playing bass, and maybe lose 15kg's as well...

Soon my pretties, soon.
IESSO

Also note the eventual return of me in my profile has... uh... returned (??) HOORAY PREDICTABILITY!

MUSTTYPEREALLYFAST,NOTIMEFORSPACES ORGOODSUBJECTHEADINGS

Short post today; too busy! MUCH TO BUSY! They don't like some of my drawings, and others have the obligatory and ubiquitous (BIG WORDS YAY!) errors... And I got Linus to do a cover for me, but they don't like it. Oh well. IESSO

THE CHORT'S GONE MAD WITH POWER!

To stay sane, and awake I've added some silly personal jokes to my drawings. This little dude, the white guy, not the yellow guy, has always been a sort of self portrait and a signature of mine, but this image is showing a rude employee. Pretty literal huh? Gimme a break, I've been working straight for three days, over two nights without sleep... I am tired. But nearly-sorta-kinda done.

If you don't understand the subject heading, check out HOMESTAR RUNNER!

IESSO

YO MAMMA

Yo-Mamma
Originally uploaded by Elliott Scott.

This has gots to be one of my favourite 'Yo Momma/Mamma' jokes. I admit that I have completely no idea what it means, but anything that endorses mathematical elitism has just got to be cool. Nothings cooler than pocket protectors!

Maybe someone will understand it and inform the less knowledged readers and me... I mean I. I mean I 'meant' I.

meESSO, I meant I again.

DO I MAKE YOU HORNY BABY?

Fancy-a-Shag
Originally uploaded by Elliott Scott.

I think I might redo this one with a different, scruffier looking dog. I'll try to find one that looks like the tramp in Lady and the Tramp.

Not satisfied with this one yet.

IESSO

COINKIDINK? I THINK NOT

Since I heard about that weird coincidence/them using my image, I was trying to find some more things like that. The results were negative (I don't have cancer) but I did find a song buy Elliott Smith (who is cool and I like his music) called Amanda. Weird for me, but probably no-one else. Haven't listened to it yet, but I'm assuming its sad.

ALSO I'm #3 when you type in 'Elliott Scott' in a google search. WOOT! AND #1 when you type in Elliott Mondayne. DOUBLE WOOT!

IESSO

WHAT THE CRAP!?

Someone kindly informed me in my previous post of something rather bizarre. I apparently work for a design company and I didn't even know about it! BOOYAH! So check it out for yourself if you want, although it's the same as the screenshot, so why would you bother? Also on an interesting note; I love it how they removed the mole on my chin and totally added some shin to my forehead. SWEET! I've been airbrushed!

Thanks anonymous,... if that even is your real name! IESSO

I CAN'T HELP MYSELF

I was going to start out my post with the line "Negative body image is such an ugly thing" but then I realised it had a pretty good albeit obvious pun in it. I think of puns without even trying anymore. I'm like a poet and I had been previously unaware of it.

ANYWAY - Negative Body Image. As you know I've started lifting weights and growing a beard. The beard is thin at best. Although it has only been a week. It still looks like I need to shave REALLY badly, and not a crap attempt at a beard. That's soon. And the weights. Oh the weights. I am not very strong, so I started out with the only weights I had 5kg ones. And that was a challenge. Now it's not. And maybe its all in my head but I think I can SEE the difference. And as I was looking at myself I noticed my increasingly flabby gut. It's not hugely fat or anything, but it's certainly not as flat and 'nearly six-packish' like it used to be. Maybe I'll start cycling again. Or eating less crappy food. Or food in general. Or just stop eating in general. Yeah, I like that idea. Nothing says 'starving artist' like someone who is starving, wears op-shop clothes and has a crap beard.

IESSO

NO, YOU DON'T GOT IT!

I don't even know what that subject heading means. It was supposed to be a pun on goth, but failed. Miserably. So anyway, I don't understand how goths can be totally in love with this movie (Nightmare Before Christmas). I totally love it, but I don't claim to have a black heart, no soul or be in cohoots with the devil... If they're so miserable, why do they like such a fun movie. I reckon it's because they're childish. Not in a bad way, a good way... The TRUE goths are too depressed for this movie.

ANYWAY I want the shirt company to make this one, even though the chances are slim. Legal issues and all that. But I want to wear one. Maybe I'll just get a screenprinter to print it for me. Or I'll buy a kit. Or something. It's cool. I'm gonna do one for girls (or guys) I HEART JACK and have a picture of Jack Skellington.

That's all fernow. IESSO

NO SERIOUSLY, YOU SHUCK

You-Shuck
Originally uploaded by Elliott Scott.

I don't have a lishp, you just shuck. Shorry.

ANYWAY ... pink bits! Oops, sorry, I was trying not to say that.

I'm Elliott Scott, NOT thinking about pink bits (and whenever you try not to think of something, you naturally think of it), signing off.

PINK BITS! They taste kinda like fish....

MORE DJ'S SLANDER

Now don't get me wrong, I totally have loads of respect for people who can mix disc's and take something and add there own spin to it (pun unintended) BUT not everyone who calls themselves a DJ can do that. AND Even if they can are they musicians? Perhaps. Perhaps not. I don't call myself an artist when I take other peoples photos and type and mix it together. That's design.

ANYWAY this is a redevelopment of an older idea. They can't use the old one because it has fine lines, which are hard to print. I actually think this new one is better anyway, and it probably works just as well without the second record (the one with the DJ) So, uh, yeah... that's it. IESSO

ZEE UBLICHE VERDÃCHTIGE (The Usual Suspects)

prisoner
Originally uploaded by Elliott Scott.

WHERE: Walking home
WHEN: Just then
WHO: Me fool! Who else?

WHAT: I'm walking home after getting a diet coke. A cop car goes by. Stops. Reverses. Turns the lights on, the searchlight and the blue-and-red flashing one and proceeds to interogate me.

ME: Is there a problem officer (jokingly)
COP: What's your name?
ME: Uh.. Elliott...
COP: Where are you going?
ME: Uh, I .. er.. was just going to get some coke. I mean a coke. Well, I just got one.
COP: Where?
ME: At the petrol station at the end of Discovery Drive.
COP: Do you have any ID?
ME: No. I've got my bank card though...
COP: Let me see it. He looks at it. That's fine. Where were you going?
ME: To get a coke.
COP: It's pretty late isn't it?
ME: Well I work late..
COP: Uhuh. Doing what?
ME: Uh, graphic design.
COP: Why didn't you drive?
ME: I don't have a car... (starting to get bored/annoyed at the pointless interogation)
COP: Ok.. fine. Where do you live?
ME:
COP: Fine.

An entirely random story without any sort of punchline, but something I though blog-worthy. It was weird. And if I was one of those commentators in Southpark watching the whole thing I would have said: "I haven't seen a jew questioned like that since 1935!" So I guess it goes to show, there is a school like the old-old-school. I'll get back to my ghetto and start wearing a star patch on my shirt from now on.

IESSO

SAUL A FARCE

I'm not feeling particularly sad or anything, and the photo isn't of my ex-girlfriend, I just enjoy teasing emo's so gosh dang much! And don't we all.

IESSO

Oh, icy

I see now... why I should not talk to my parents and hide in my room. My mom wanted to talk (complain) to me about my dad. I, being the good son, ever-listening, comforting, acting as a parent, an ear to talk to, a shoulder to cry on, a psychiatrist, a psycologist and the devils advocate, listened. But when I say listen I mean fear for my sanity and life. You know that scene in the Simpsons where Bart has to repress his memories of Homer crying in his bed. Yeah. That. Execept it was my mom, and I was sitting on the floor.

So without spilling the details of the conversation, which should be left private (and is boring and repetitive and repetitive) I'll just say that talking to my mom after she's had QUITE a few glasses of wine is like treading on thin ice wearing stilts with chainsaws on the bottoms. No matter what I said she wouldn't stop yelling. And it wasn't the rational calm yelling (huh?) no, it was the mumbling, whisper-yell that only the truly angry and drunk yell. It was fun. And today has been a lot of fun too. Because apparently I've deeply insulted her, just by pointing out some character flaws that she asked me about! and asuming that what we had was a conversation not a yell-fest.

So now she's mad at me because I listened to the 'enemy' and was 'brainwashed'. Yes, that's happened. I couldn't form an opinion on my own, no, I needed to be brainwashed by my father. It's not possible that she really does have these aspects of her personality, that'd be just plain crazy. By the way, one of those aspects is holding a grudge... so I'm in it for the long-haul. HOORAY!

IESSO

The last pun?

Thanks for the 'support' from you guys. Don't worry/do worry; I will be making more pun shirts, but not for a little while. I'be got uni work to do. And I've been putting it aside for too long. Gotta catch up on it...

IESSO

An Epiphone

I'm getting pretty sick of doing these dumb-ass t-shirt designs and crappy illustrations. I can't wait till they're done so I can get back to doing some REAL design work. Lino should appreciate my sentiment on this issue.

IESSO

WELL HE IS

BB-is-Tivo-ing-you
Originally uploaded by Elliott Scott.

There ARE better things to watch besides you. Ya egotistical bast'ds.

IESSO

I thought it was Nokia...?!

Czech this out. Freakin' hilarious! With a capital High. I so want one!
Here are some links:
POKIA WEBSITE
POKIA eBAY LISTINGS

DIG THAT FUNKY MUSIC WHITE BOY...

Beetnik
Originally uploaded by Elliott Scott.

Puns abound in this image! Let's see, we've got:
1. 'Dig'
2. Groovy 'Beet'
3. He's a beatnik
4. He's groovy (which isn't really that punnish)
uh.. I think that's it. But still, 3.5 puns is more than normal!

And if it makes it any sillier I was listening to 'Green Onions' while I was posting it up...

IESSO

EVERYBODY HAS AIDS!

I overheard the neighbor kids talking...

HOMIE KID: Did you know that it takes a litre of saliva to get AIDS, but only a drop of blood or a drop of sperm?
PUNK KID: No, I heard that you can get AIDS in a second, from just a drop of sperm....
HK: Yeah, that's what I said. A drop of sperm. A litre of saliva.
GOTH KID: Who would drink a litre of saliva anyway?
HK: How do you know? Have you ever measured?
PK: I'll bet my sister has.
GK: Who'd drink a litre of sperm?!
HK: NO! A drop of sperm. A litre of saliva.
PK: I'll bet my sister did.

FREE DRINK!?

I went out last night because it was thursday, and something about St. Patty's or something, but anyway I got a free drink card at the entrance of the club (don't even get me started about going to a nightclub instead of a dark and dingy bar) anyway, it said free drink. So I ordered a beer. A Heineken. It wasn't free. Oh no. Far from it. $9.80 And it wasn't even cold. Worst. Bar. Ever.

IESSO

GROWING, GROWING, GRONE!

Uh.. yeah, that's right! I'm growing a beard. And on an urelated note, I'm also lifting weights. One thing to make me more attractive, and one less attractive to the opposite sex. Hooray! We'll see which one I give up on first. Pain or itching! Yahooey!

IESSO

THE FEELING IS MUTUAL

WHO: Me, of course
WHERE: Harbor Town. The discount clothing heaven! And by heaven, I mean place.
WHY: Stop judging me!
WHEN: The other day.

WHAT: I went into a discount surf clothing store, possibly looking for a new sweatband. There was the sales chick (who was ubiquitously hot of course!) trying to assemble a mannequin. But it was the way she was doing that was goofy. She had one hand on the 'breast' and one on the 'crotch' trying to either put on, or take off it's cloths.

Ubiquitously hot sales chick: OH! I... err... uh... I wasn't molesting it! If that's what you think...
ME: Yeah right. I'm not here to judge...
UHSC: No, seriously. I know it looks bad....
ME: Do you want a hand.......
ME: OH! I mean did you need any help!
ME: With the assembly! Not the molesting....
ME: Oh forget it.
I walk to the furthest part of the store in shame.
UHSC: Uh... yeah, actually I do need a hand.
ME: Oh, ok...
She gets me to hold the 'breasts' (of course) while she struggles with the legs.
UHSC: No, actually, I needed a hand.... can you pass that hand over there?
*We both pause at the BAD joke...*

We walk away never to speak again, too ashamed to look each other in the eyes...

EVEN I HAVE STANDARDS

I'm checkin' out my competition: other t-shirt companys. Particularly the semi-vulgar ones that t-shirts.com seems to like so much. And I stumbled across one that even I think is too far:

"If I wanted to hear you speak I would have taken my cock out of your mouth"

I mean seriously, that is not funny, it is vulgar, offensive, and wasn't designed well or anything. I think the quote: "What were you thinking man?!" fits nicely here. It's just so bad. So very, very bad. If I ever do anything that falls to this level, or even below it (if that's possible?) LET ME KNOW! Send an irrate email, leave a post of doom, or best yet; punch me in the face.. or crotch as you see fit.

IESSO

ROSEWOOD IS THE NEW COOPER BLACK

Sad-Clown
Originally uploaded by Elliott Scott.

Not my first choice, but it was all I could find without trying in the slightest. So yeah, the passion is gone for now. Need to get away from here...

IESSO

PS. Don't worry, its not a self-portrait, I'm not sad, but I can't concentrate very well cooped up in my room, avoiding my parents and their wordless, silent anger...

NOT IN THE MOOD

I've been planning to do this picture for a while now.. Lino has been egging me on. I finally got around to doing it. It looks good, but I'm not happy. I just don't feel inspired at the moment. But I don't think it has to do with the work...



Check out the REAL iPod shuffle ad. and buy something! You know you want to.

SUMPIN FUNNY

Somethin funny happened today that I was all like: "I'm so gonna put that on the blog".. but I forgot what it was. If you remember what I was thinking of, please let me know.

---

My parents are getting a divorce. And I feel a huge amount of shame. I can't look them in the eye. I know every kid thinks it, but if only I had done something different, if only I had let them talk to me more about their problems, if only I was more of a therapist. If only....

Not a very funny post today. But a post nonetheless.
IESSO

Not-ah!

Puns ARE funny! What they say is a lie. I'm not HIM!

Also

WHAT: Driving around thinking of somethin' to do.
WHERE: Surfers Paradise
WHEN: Oh, last week I reckon.
WHO: Me and someone named Adam T, no wait, that's too obvious, we'll call him A. Tanner.

THE STORY: Driving around looking for 'action'... we see a chick in a phonebooth.
AT: Is that a naked chick?!
We do a u-turn, drive 'round frantic to see some boobidge..



No.. it's just a fat guy. With man-boobs.





Story o' my life.

INDY McEMO-PANTS? MOI?

Linus has begun/began/beginned reading this site called QUESTIONABLE CONTENT , it's an on-line comic. I've read the whole thing too. But there is a problem. He reckons I'm the main character. He thinks its like reading all about me. I don't think so *clicks fingers reminscent of some sort of mad black woman* He's superficially similar at best.

I'm not 'indie' I'm individual. And not 'emo', emotional. Shut up. Just.. shut up. So the question I pose to you is: read the comic, vote. Who is right? ME or LINUS. Am I the dude in the comic?

IESSO

COME'N GIT IT

WHERE: Southbank Markets
WHY ON EARTH: Wasting time
WHOM: Linotype and I
WHUH?: We're meandering around the stalls killin time between class. Our last class was talking about the anti-fur campaign we've got to do.. and we come across a stall selling the glorious products made from the bodies of the cute and cuddly. There was kangaroo skin rugs, roo paw backscratchers, random crocodile heads and my favorite, toads that have been emptied out and made into purses. Then we notice something that sorta looks like a knuckle.

ME (to shop keeper): Are they what I think they are?
SK (weird accent): Kungaroo testucles. You want testicles, you-no where to cum.
ME: Yeah. Right on.

Damn you internet! DAMN YOU TO HELL!

I apologise if you see the same post a couple of times... there is some wacky glitch in the Matrix of my blog, and I am trying to find my Neo to fix it. Hopefully it'll be righted soon. Thanks for the patience.

Ellorpheus

CRAZY MAUX-FAUX

FAUX FUR
Originally uploaded by Elliott Scott.

I love puns. And even though its not actually pronounced fox, it is still one of my favourite puns. And coupled with a chick in a little black dress... how could it go wrong?*

*Don't answer that. THIS is how it could go wrong I suppose. But I like it anyway. And isn't that all that matters? No? Well screw you, ya bunch of pinko commies...

NARC!

ALL THE CLICHES

warmup
Originally uploaded by Elliott Scott.

Linus the big jerk sent me this picture. At least he's reading the site I suppose, but what a jerk. It's not just the literal insult of me being a design whore (which I can't deny) OH NO! It's much more than that, he's making fun of me designergraphically, is really mean, and WAY nerdier...

The fonts, the tight spacing between the letters, the colors, the HORRIBLE texture that is SSSssoooo "I'm just learning how to use Photoshop, Oh Look! Halftone filters!" .... etc, etc.

All I got's to say is: BRING IT ON!

IESSO

PS. I'm kinda busy this week, so I gotta postpone the battle till next week (such an odd thing to say?!)

Mondayne-Shirt

Mondayne-Shirt
Originally uploaded by Elliott Scott.

This one is just for me. I doubt anyone else would wear it. But I suppose if there is enough interest in this, or any shirt that I do that isn't being produced, I can get it done myself...

IESSO

LET THE LAMES BEGIN

Nerdy-boy
Originally uploaded by Elliott Scott.

I am now a nerd. I have glasses. Please feel free to taunt and tease as you see fit, I deserve it. On the other hand, I have glasses, so I am smarter than you. You'll end up working for just above minimum wage at McDonalds, and I'll be a CEO of some cool company which will eventually go bankrupt because we invested all our money in some new technology that was never fully understood. But before I leave the office for the last time, I mysteriously get locked in some sort of plasma or gamma ray room and get exposed to the material and mutate. You on the other hand will reveal that you are not just a lowly burger jockey, but are in fact a supreme being sent from space to protect this fragile planet from creatures such as what I've become. And an epic battle will of course ensue, with the outcome determinned by the cliche-est of cliche's, you forced to overcome your inner demons in order to slay the literal demon that you see before you. I on the other hand will be slaughtered by your mighty weapon and just on the brink of death realise the errors of my ways; if I had shared the technology that I miserously horded none of this would have happened and a blissful utopia would have resulted. Alas, the greed of one, outways the need of the many.

All that, just cuz I got glasses. Talk about megalomania!
IESSO

LORD KITCHENER says BOOYAH!

Drop-Out-Now
Originally uploaded by Elliott Scott.

Uh, don't ask me to explain that one, I bloody well can't. So don't ask.

Way back when, when my dad was my age this was a big saying. Or so he says. So he got me to turn it into a shirt. I thought I was something war related, seeing as though he was a hippy and all, so I made it war related. The dude with the 'tache is Lord Kitchener and he was a guy trying to get the Brits to join the war effort. And he's vaguely familiar in a retro sorta way, so that's always good.

But now that I'm looking at it, I think I might change the slogan to: "Your country doesn't need you: DROP OUT NOW". Which of course is a play on the mentality of "JOIN THE ARMY: Your country needs you" or something along those lines.

And then I was thinking of maybe doing something else in a similar political note: "Your country needs you: DODGE THE DRAFT TODAY!".

There's nothing like a political shirt to get the populous motivated. Nothing.

!#%%) (aka 13550)

I CAN'T STAND THE HEAT

Generic-Punk
Originally uploaded by Elliott Scott.

I'm not saying that I'm running out of ideas, there are a few brewing in my head, and I'm not saying that I have writers block, I'm not saying that at all.

What I am saying is that I am starting to feel the pressure. Those drawings were due a few weeks ago, and they're not anywhere near done. PLUS I have some photo montaging to do, and a cover for each book.

AND then I have to submit 10-15 design to the t-shirt people by the end of the week (this week, TODAY!) and I've only done about 8 that are worth sending. Not that ANY are worth sending, but yeah...

Starting to get nervous. And on top of all this my laptop needs to back to the shop AGAIN! It's electrocuting me. Yeah, that's right. And that ain't good. But it'll be hard to find the time between the illustrations, the shirts, uni and me being flustered. PLUS I want to ask out the messy haired girl at uni. I dunno her name. That'd probably be a good start.

IESSO

QUT-logo

QUT-logo
Originally uploaded by Elliott Scott.

QUT

It's more than a univeristy, a place to learn and socialise. It's more than a breeding ground for young niave college chicks, it's even more than a lifestyle. It's a philosophy of life.

QUIT: The Philosophy for the Real World.

Ok, so if you're not aware of the university and it's slogan this isn't gonna make much sense to you. But dont worry, you're not missing out on much. It's a pretty lame joke.

IE550

PARTY OF ONE?

I'm sitting here in the Q st M (Queen St Mall). A lot has changed since I used to sit here and mooch. For starters they don't have free wireless internet access anymore. Which sucks. It was good. And ... ok, that's about all that's changed, but whatever.

I just went to lunch at the casino. The great mooch! But it was different this time. I used to go with Dermo and or anyone else we could drag along. It was a great deal, $5 gets you a two course meal and bottomless coffee. That was a year ago. Now you get the same thing, but for $10. Which is still good I suppose. But Dermo was there. And I heard the loneliest words possible: "Table for one?". That's right up there with going to see a movie alone. Not cool, not cool at all. So yeah, no Dermo, no crazy-cheap food, no more mooching.

Oh yeah, and as always the casino plays music that I reckon is cool. Either its weird of them, or weird of me... Goldfrapp was playing. Dermo introduced to the frapp. And then Sixpence None the Richer (Remember the post on LANEY BOGGS?); 'There She Goes'. Which would have been very saddening if the memories were of a girl. Or at least a guy that I called a girls name. .... *pause* .... yeah, I'll let you make your mind up on this one. I thought it was weird. I was all sad from Goldfrapp playing, and then in a perfect movie style Sixpence came on. It was perfect for a movie. But not perfect for me, which made it all the weirder.

I dunno what I'm trying to say. Miss ya dude! Hope Ireland is good, it had bloody-well better be!

End of an era. Or days of yore. Or some sort of appropriate cliche.

IESSO

BOTTOM O' THE BARREL

If you cast your minds all the way back to November 30, Two thousand ought-four, you'll remember me doing this slogan and another design that went with it. Now don't get me wrong, I liked Linus's's version of lettering, but I felt kinda guilty using it, so I did my own. I generally like the new version better than the old one (typo aside), and a hell of a lot better than the original.

I pose this question to you:
Would you wear this? In particular, would Linus wear this? Because as we all know, I don't design for clients, or myself, I design for the approval of my friends. And if they say its cwap, its cwap.

IESSO

PS. I've FINALLY worked out how to do things on this site, like insert big pictures, bold text, italics and how to include hyperlinks. And not a moment too soon.