YOU AGAIN?

Hey guys, sorry I hadn't posted anything new in a while; I've been sick and barely able to move. Or see. So no posts. AND I'm doubly sorry that my first post post-sickness is of this:

This is the first spread of the DepressioNet Brochure we're doing. I quite like the general look of it. Of course it needs some work, and I'd appreciate some suggestions. Particularly from people in my class. Double particularly Linus. He always has good ideas.

I am really enjoying this assignment. I think maybe because it's such a personal topic. And that I'm designing it for me and people like me. Okay sure, I do that all the time anyway, but this one in particular is personal. And I like the colors. They make me feel good. Although the actual information in the brochure is kinda depressing. It just explains depression, and confirms that I really am depressed. Not so much now, but still a little bit. I've made progress though, I used to be Medium/Majorly Depressed, and now I'm only Mildly Depressed. WOOT for ME!

Ok, so tomorrow I'm heading into the city with Tanner and Tegan perhaps, so there might be something funny to report back on. If not, I'll make something funny up. I had a copy of weird sickness induced dreams that I was gonna write up about but I forgot them. Sorry.

IESSO

SO YOU'VE DECIDED TO KILL YOURSELF

Here is a design I've done for the depression brochure we're doing for class.



Being a depressed person myself I figured I might as well take the opportunity to just design something for myself. When I was battling through the disease in it's fullest the last thing I wanted to hear was things like "There will be a light at the end of the tunnel" or "There's plenty of fish in the sea". That made me feel so much worse. So I figured others might feel the same way, hence the subheading. Also humor seemed to get my attention, particularly dry sarcastic humor. I was in no mood for jokes, but something not serious or too heavy would be okay. Colors are good too. This is the most colorful thing I've done to date. And I think it works well.

The concept is based on a notebook theme. I doodled in my notebook when I was depressed, it made me feel better to get my ideas, thoughts and feelings out. So that notion is translated into this design. Ok so no-one puts this much effort into a drawing but you get the idea.

I'll let you know what the class opinion is tomorrow.

For now; IESSO

IT'S LIKE LOOKING IN THE MIRROR

I bought a sweater the other day. In the shop I had a conversation with the ubiquitously hot sales chick, that pretty much sums up my problem with girls. Enjoy:

UBIQUITOUSLY HOT SALES CHICK: Would you wear this? (Holding a lilac sweater)
ME: Sounds like a challenge.
I put it on. It looks pretty cool to me...
UHSC: That looks really good on you.
ME: Yeah, but you have to say that. To make a sale.
UHSC: No, we don't get commision here, if I didn't think it looked good I would have recommended something else.
ME: Oh ok. Well thank you.
UHSC: You're pretty stylish aren't you? I really like your shoes. (Referring to the pink laces)
ME: Uh... I guess so...
UHSC: You try really hard don't you?
ME: Heh heh, yeah I suppose.
UHSC: It's a good thing you bought this jumper, I was about to close the store and go to lunch...
ME: Oh.. ok. (Thinking: Ask her to lunch! Ask her to lunch! Then I thought: No, wait. She's WAY too hot to go out with me. She probably gets hit on all the time. And she probably has a boy-friend. Don't bother.)
UHSC: Uh... Is there anything else you needed?
ME: No. I err.. uhh.. no. Thanks. Have a good day.
UHSC: Oh ok. Well, see-ya.

And I walk away. Kicking myself. I should have asked her. What was the worst that could happen? She says no. I'm such an idiot! She was really cool too! Not just generic hot, but stylish and cool. But not in a pretentious way either. Just plain cool. IDIOT!

But if that wasn't bad enough. It turns out this already happened to me, in comic form. Read it here.

From Elliott/Marten... ya bro.

OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!

I've been wallowing in my self this morning, reading past posts of the blog. I read the one where I took the personality test and decided to try it again. Maybe time would have changed my responses. No such luck:

+ Intellect/Openess (Past results: Agreeableness, Extroversion)
- Emotional Stability

I don't know what I'm putting wrong, I get this same result EVERY time. Maybe it's true or something? No, thats just crazy talk.

Try the test for yourself, and tell me your answers.
CLICK HERE

PS. It's for women, but take it just for the sake of it.
IESSO

OH MAN, WHAT THE SH*T?

You know how you had an iPod before anyone else did and you were cool, and when they asked you what it was you pretended to be pissed off but secretly reveled in the fact that you could show off? Remember that feeling? Then remember how everyone suddenly had one and you were no longer cool or special?

Now they sell iPods in vending machines.



The irony is: because they sell them at an airport you'd assume they'd be good to take on flights. But the iPod doesnt have any songs on it. And it's not charged. So the only use is for a present. They should provide some sort of service that allows you to put music on it too. But then again the only people who'd buy them from a vending machine would probably be too self-absorbed but rich to think logically. .... daddy... why didn't you buy me that train set on my birthday?

Check out the link here.

IESSO

BLOODY HELL MAN...

Here is the final version of the anti-fur campaign. I went with the humor strategy rather than the blood and guts scare people aware strategy. I figured if I got people to read I'd get them to think. Putting a masacred seal family grosses people out, some put their gaurd up and others are desistized to that thing.

I based the idea on a fashion magazine and so the puns are reflective of that. They always have puns. Bad ones at that. Not that I'm anyone to judge...

I thought it was funny that one kid my class objected to using the word 'sex'. No prizes for Linus for guessing. Other people who don't know him can get a prize if they really want...

IESSO aka. Laney Bloggs

DID SOMEONE SAY "TIMEWARP?"

WHERE: Hungry Jacks (Burger King)
WHO: Me and Tanner
WHEN: Yesterday (not the fifties)
WHAT: Relax, I'm getting to that...

We're in HJ's eating our really crap food and talking about Tanner's friend that he likes, and she likes him too, but she has a boyfriend, and that's another story. Anyway we're getting pretty deep into conversation when someone interupts us.

"Excuse me, is there anything I can get you?" "Would you like your soft drink refilled?"
It was a hungry Jacks employee asking us if she could help us. It was really weird. And really cool. We were very perplexed, a fast food place with SERVICE?! It's unheard of.

"Uh, no thank you..."
"Okay, well let me clear away your wrappers. Let me know if there is anything you need"
"Ok, thank you VERY much"

She went around all the tables serving customers. Refilling drinks and getting napkins and stuff. Everyone was freakin out! It was like we stepped back in time or something to an era where service existed. And people were nice. And all that nostalgic stuff...

IESSO

I GOTTA GET OUT MORE

Diving-Ms-D
Originally uploaded by Elliott Scott.

I love puns, as we know, but I also like wordplay. And the best form of word play is... Porno Movie Titles. You just gots to love them. Here is a list of my favorites and some in there just for filler. Feel free to gimme some more ideas. I might do a poster out of the best one and send it to you. Hows that for incentive?!

Here we go, hold on:

Jurassic Pork
Honey I Spunked the Kids *
The (Cock)Peicemaker
Poca-hot-ass (Pocahontas)
Beverly Hills Copulator
Romancing the Bone
Good Will Humping
When Harry ate Sally
Tales from the Clit
ET: The Extra-Testicle
The Sexorcist *
Willie Wanker and the Chocolate Factory
Cum-a-lot and the nights on the round table
Star Trek: The Next Penetration *
Hairy Palmer & The Sorcerors Bone
The Fast & The Curious / 2 Fast 2 Curious
Sperm of Endearments *
Inspect Her Gadget *
Diving Miss Daisy
Charlie's Anals
White Men Can't Hump *
dude where's my dildo
cockless in seattle
Big trouble in little vagina *
Moulin Spooge
Schindlers Fist
Tits off fury
Wankenstein
Ridges of Madisons County
Queer and Present Danger *
The Gaytrix *
and the obvious: Shaving Ryan's Private. Although I prefer Slaving Private Ryan

IESSO

* Starred names are favourites

WHO'S YOUR DADDY-O?

I shaved my beard off this morning. No real reason to. Didn't have a date and wanted to look good. Or a job interview and needed to look respectable. Nope. None of that.

{ sigh }

I just felt like that. Maybe it's a literal thing: A New Elliott type thing. Yesterday sucked, but today is a new day, and a new look to boot! YAY! New boots! "No Elliott, that's not what you said..." Don't bother with him. He's nuts.

Anyway I tried a new look. I've never had a 'tache before. I was worried that it'd make me look stereotype gay. Not that I'm against gay people or their stylings, but that just wasn't a look I was going for. Maybe Salvador Dali. He was cool.

I reckon it was beatnik-ish, hence this photo:



And don't worry Benji, I'm not claiming to be a beatnik. I'm not one. My grandfather was though. He read poetry, played bongo drums and scatted like a mo-fo. And he was an architect, living in a loft in New York during the 50's. And wore black turtle-necks. If that's not beatnik what is!?

Take it easy yo! IESSO

TWO FOR THE POST OF ONE

Hey guys I'm sorry that I hadn't posted anything for a while. I've been sick/bored/not in the mood/busy/etc and I apologise.

POST 1 - "KEEP ME POSTED"

WHAT'S HAPPENED SINCE WE LAST SPOKE?
Not much buddy, but I have gone out with Tanner and his girl-friend (notice the hyphen) and we've been having some fun I guess. I went to the casino last night and lost all my money except for one chip. I placed it on 7 on the roulette table and it came up! I won $80 on one bet. I bet a bit more and was betting my last chip (that I was willing to spend after putting $50 in my pocket) I put it on 7 again. Tanners friend told me to put it on 3, her lucky number. 7 came up! DAMN! Oh well.. I still won a total of $80 that night.

WHAT ELSE?
Saw 'Sin City' last night on my computer. It's pretty cool. I recomend it to anyone who likes movies that are visually appealing, and don't mind a LOT of gore. The story is sorta weak, but that doesn't matter too much... It's a really cool movie.

ANYTHING ELSE?
Not really. I did a different version of the anti-fur poster. It's supposed to look like a certain womens fashion magazine which I'll leave anonymous. You never know, any magazine that's named after a cocktail has got to be dangerous. Mmmm cocktails....



POST 2 - "PUTTING THE ME BACK IN MELANCOLY"

I might not be posting much for a little while. I'm kinda feeling blue again. Not the most happy for some reason. I guess I'm sorta kinda REALLY lonely and my confidence is dropping pretty dramatically for some reason. Ugg. It's just a phase I guess. Or maybe one of those days.

Actually today is THE day. Five years ago my (ex)girlfriend and I went on our first date. It was nice, and things went well from there. For another 3 1/2 years. And we've been apart for 1 1/2 years now. And I'm mostly over it, but not quite. I think I've stopped loving her. But now I just have this empty feeling in me. And my medication doesn't help. I take it to control my insane emotions but what used to be a roller-coaster is now one of those rides that kids go on in shopping centers.



I'm Thomas the Coin-Operated Tank Engine, Signing off.

INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS

Ok, so that was officially one of the weakest links I've ever made... Invasion of the Body Snatchers --> Pod People --> iPod. ANYWAY: I've sold my iPod. So the offer doesn't stand anymore. Sorry if you missed out. I'll let you know if I want to sell one in the future, which is most likely, but not for a while.

iPod photo here I come!

IESSO

HOME, HOME ON THE RANGE

I don't think they had Jewish cowboys, but a when a beautiful blonde girl tells me to wear a cowboy hat and pose for her, who am I to argue? WHO!? So anyway, this is an image taken with my super snazzy camera instead of Jenni's good camera, in order to get some indication of what the final images will look like. Pretty cool, and pretty silly. I love it!

NOTE: Smoking isn't cool. And photoshopped smoke is even less cool! Don't smoke kids, and if you pose with a cigarette, don't add the smoke in later, it just seems try-hard.

IESSO

I'M ON THE EXPRESS TRAIN TO SQUARESVILLE MAN

Colin (my teacher) likes the image of the two chicks arguing a lot, more than the actual poster, much to my dismay. To to oblige him (brown-nose if you will) I did this version of the poster. I didn't think it was fair to say that it was a seperate poster without at least changing the color scheme. And don't worry about the text, it's just there for show.

I personally like this color scheme better, and would've used it for the original poster, but they don't match the bar very well.
IESSO

LCD (Lowest Common Denominator)

Because no-one either understood or liked the previous version of my anti-fur campaign poster, here is a new one with a brand new slogan. It's pretty literal really... "A Crime Against Nature" referring to both the ugly dude and the killing of animals. It's not as good as "Fashion Victim", but I guess that's why it's been used before. My slogan's probably been used too, but let's hope not.

Below is a second version, which is even more obvious. Let me know which one works better. I'm totally running out of time! AAAHHH!!



IESSO

PENNY FUR YOUR THOUGHTS

Fur-Campaign1
Originally uploaded by Elliott Scott.

A lame pun. Sorry about that.

Ok, so I need some feedback on this poster. It's for an anti-fur campaign. There's some questions I need answered:

1. Do you understand the link between the guys appearance and cruelty?
2. Does he look good or bad in his fur coat?
3. Do you understand the sarcasm?
4. Do you understand the true message?
5. Would it make you not buy fur?
6. What do you think the target audience would be? (Meaning, who is the poster designed for?)
7. What is your overall impression of the concept and the appearance?

Thanks for your help. I really appreciate it. IESSO

iPODLOUNGES BUYER'S GUIDE

Hey kids! Check out this awesome guide for eveything iPod! It's really really good. And helpful and informative and they're totally not paying me to say this!

Click HERE if you want to see the buyer's guide. OR HERE if you want to go the the iPodlounge main page.

REMEMBER! Not being payed to say this.

BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS

I found this photo on my camera, thought it was funny....

Will and I got something to eat before class at about 9.00am the other day. So this is breakfast. We both went to get our food and met at a table somewhere in the middle of the food court. I just thought it was funny what we instinctively choose to eat. By the way this joke isn't funny unless you realise I'm American and Will is Asian. I think he's from Hong Kong, but I'm not certain. Ok, so he's eating sushi, which is from Japan, but whatever!

It's more a reflection on fat Americans than Asians. Will said something interesting. I'm paraphasing:
"If Americans eat what you're eating (chili dogs + fries) it's ignorant. If Asians eat sushi or noodles or whatever it's cultured [meaning it's part of their culture]". I thought that was odd. It's very true. And it kinda annoys me, because I LIKE chili dogs and I got one because I wanted one, not because I don't know better! DANG IT!

IESSO

CARTOON DEATHMATCH

I'm interested in knowing which of the two styles of female character people like better. Do we like the retro one, or the modern one? I personally like the modern one, but that's just me. I'd particularly like to hear from hipster chicks...

Thanks

IESSO

PS. I promise to stop talking about this poster soon.

DONE! AND DONE!

I REALLY like this. And I never say that. This would have to be the first thing I've EVER done that I'm pleased with. I reckon it's groovy. I like the colors, the typefaces, the illustrations and the fact that I did it all from scratch. I used some fonts, but altered them heavily (ok, so I didn't alter Trade Gothic but whatever) And the illustrations were based on other styles but I drew them myself and added my own style to it. So basically this design is ME! It's everything I like. I (like always) add a picture of myself in the work, and the chick is some ideal girl of mine... I dunno. Anyway, I'm happy! I made some minor changes, mainly changing the chick from a 60's mod to a 00's hipster. Good change methinks.

IESSO

JORGE POSTER 1

Hey guys, here is a poster I've done for Jorge Bar + Club in 'bane. Could you please give me some feedback. Don't forget, I like my feedback candy coated, so if you have some criticism, please make it constructive, and not just: "It's crap!" THANKS! Here is what my opinion is:

WHAT I LIKE:
- The colors. They match the colors of the bar, and have a modern feel to them, but also a classic 'retro' style too. Well suited to jazz.
- The type. I think it works, but some of you may think otherwise.
- The illustrations, although these are only filler people,... I will replace them with jazz musicians in the very near future.
- The way that the spotlights reflect the shape of the cocktail glasses. Visual symetry rocks!

WHAT I'M UNSURE ABOUT:
- The arrangement of all the elements. Ok, so the people will change, and that'll probably change things, but still... It feels a bit top heavy.
- The colored text? I like it better than an all-white version, but maybe you've got some ideas.
- The important info. Now you must remember that this poster is for inside the bar itself, so advertising the bar doesnt have to be that important, but it still seems lacking.

Thats about it. You don't need to write that much, but some feedback would be good. Even in the form of YES and NO. I know people read this site, so there is no excuse!

Thanks again, IESSO

Ok, so below is a revised version. Linus recommended changing the typeface on 'Wall St' so something less conventional. I like the long'n'skinny format better than the standard as well.... I also added some extra details and more info allowed by the page size. Overall I'm quite pleased with it so far. Some changes still need to be made though. Elliott

IS THAT KELLY OSBORNE?

Punks
Originally uploaded by Elliott Scott.

This is somewhat of an open letter to a reader by the name Benji. He/she has recently quelched my hopes and dreams of being 'Indie' by telling me that I could never be indie.

I will admit that I don't really know what 'indie', 'emo' or 'punk' is. Or at least not well enough to define it. Benj seems to be the expert... maybe he or she can help me out on this.

Who is 'indie'? These kids aren't are they? I'm not like them... they're punk aren't they? But not really, because they're smiling. And they didn't even know what that hand signal was that I got them to do. Isn't that the first thing they teach kids in Punk 101?

Or are they emo? The Kelly Osborne chick seems kinda pissed off with the world. And she's got a vintage sort of skirt on. Aren't these emo things? And those socks? Aren't they an emo thing?

Help me out here, give me some guidance on how to be 'indie'. I've made it my new mission in life to be in a clique, and much more importantly prove you wrong. In a non-malicious way of course. Nothing personal. I just enjoy a good challenge.

IESSO

AUSTRALIA'S TOUGH NEW ANTI-TERROR LAWS:

I forgot to mention this:

I was on the train to the valley yesterday when something kinda disturbing happened. There was two guys who were sort of dodgy looking, but not in a cliche way, just shifty eyes and weird manuerisms and they sat in the aisle next to me. There was no-one else on the train. They reached into their backpack, pulled out a package, placed it gently on the seat, and left the train at the next stop. Weird. Kind of frightening. The package wasn't really strange looking, kind of forgettable really, but it was the way they handled it that was frightening. I didn't open it. I got of at the stop at the valley and told this to the ticket attendant.

ME: I just thought I should let you know about something strange on the train. Someone left a mysterious package on the train heading to Shorncliffe. I just thought you should know... you know, just in case.
TA: There is nothing we can do.
ME: Uh... maybe you could check it out. Just in case...
TA: We can't do anything.

Ok, so that's not good. What if was a bomb or something, however unlikely that is, it should still be treated with importance. I try my luck (and potentially the luck of other passengers) with someone else; the person in the booth selling tickets.

ME: Um, I thought I should tell you that someone left a dodgy looking package on the train. Maybe you should check it out.
PITBST: Really?! Oh, that's not good. Which train was it?
ME: The one heading to Shorncliffe.
PITBST: Yeah, thank you for telling us....

He got on the walkie-talkie immediately to the control central to let them know. And he filled out a bunch of forms straight away too.

I'll bet the ticket attendant was in on it. .... Bum bum bummmmmmm IESSO

I (The Cheat) THE CHEAT

If you don't know who The Cheat is yet, shame on you!

Also, I went to the city today to research my essay: "Can Cartoons count to 10?: Four fingers, clothed animals and other cartoon quirks investigated" but the library was closed. Anyway I went into the city with my rusty (it's plastic?!), trusty (it broke on me) camera! I meandered into the valley and found some cool street art. I just love that stuff. I wish I could do stencils.

Also, I've done some nifty desktops for my die-hards fans (me) but you can download them too if you want. I doubt you would, but at least the option is there.

Lastly I promise, today's/todaies blog is hyperlink-o-licious OR hyperlink-tastic OR MAYBE EVEN hyperlinkerrifc. Hmm maybe not, that's a bit much.

IESSO

RAMENSAURUS!

ramensaurus
Originally uploaded by Elliott Scott.

Hey everyone. If you haven't noticed already, I've added a little meter down the bottom of the site to let me know how many people read it... In one day 23 people opened it. Well, actually that number is a bit misleading because it counts everytime someone opens the page, including me, so I'd say around 15 is more accurate...

BUT you know what this means? It means people are actually reading my stupid site. AND that means I have to put stuff up regularly for the vultures like you to read. Geez, it never ends with you people! More more more! It's a never ending pressure that I don't need!

I kid, I love you guys! SERIOUSLY! Thanks for reading. It's not a burden to put crap up on the site, but a pleasure. Thank you. Honestly, you guys are cool. And you obviously have excellent taste, because you're reading my site.

A quick word about the image, it's from Engrish.com. Czech out the hirarity! Nothing beats a dinosaur with sunnies, except maybe a dinosaur with sunnies, eating ramen and a bad caption! BOOYAH!

I think this photo sums it up nicely. They (I) don't call it Mondayne for nothing. I haven't left the house in a week. In fact I'm not even sure what day it is. IESSO