SIGH
SO I CAN FEEL IT CREEPING BACK AGAIN. I'm getting that feeling in my stomach, making me move slowly, making the world go by too fast. I can feel it making me miserable. Making me want to curl up in a ball and hiding. Yes my friends, it's my good friend depression. Being out of work (basically), broke, and feeling like I've wasted 4 months and AU$20,000 is taking it's toll on my psyche. I got another rejection today. They were looking for someone with more 'experience' and more of a 'safe bet'. Whatever that means. But at any rate it's making me miserable. Where I am now is great, the work is good, the people are nice, it's hard work but worth it, but it's only freelance, so I can't rely on it.
And today's lunch summed it all up. Having forgot to pack a lunch (I say forgot but really I just didn't have the energy because I was up late the night before working) so I had to by lunch. I planned on doing that but didn't get the time, so it was a 25p pack of chips (crisps as they say) and naturally the vending machine in the office broke! So my chips were left hanging.
Luckily some people helped me shake the machine and they were freed (until they were eaten of course). Anyway it's not all bad, I just thought it was 'poetic' or something. Also, before you 'get all up in my face' about the poor diet may I remind you that we have a fruit bowl. So I'm eating apples, pears, apricots, etc all day.
Ok, talk laters.
IESSO
2 comments:
Dude, try not to worry -- I know that seems silly coming from me, but seriously. Things will most likely work out given time for the right opportunity to show up. You have the talent, and hopefully you don't feel like you have no time left! Although, yes, the crisp packet stuck in the vending machine does sound like a pretty ironic metaphor.
Yeah, I feel that I do have talent and that I should be employed, and that's what is bothering me! Maybe I'm just completely wrong about my whole life! Maybe I need a paradigm shift!?
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