IF IT WEREN'T FOR YOU MEDDLING KIDS

AN OLD MAN (long-time alcoholic) IS IN THE CORNERSTORE BUYING A PACKET OF CHIPS AND A PACK OF CIGARETTES:

OLD MAN: (looking at his chips) I've never heard of any crisps called Hungry Dogs!
SHOPKEEP: No, actually they're called 'Hunky Dorys'...
OLD MAN: (to person entering store) Are you a hungry dog?
PERSON: Uh, no?
OLD MAN: (looking at the money in his hands) Where'd this money come from?
SHOPKEEP: It's the change from your crisps and cigarettes.
OLD MAN: Oh ok. (walks outside)
OLD MAN: (To person outside smoking) Could I trouble you for a cigarette?

IESSO