OH NOT AGAIN!

However crazy I say I am, or you think I am, that's nothing compared to how crazy I think I am.

Yep, that's right folks it's time for another Elliott Whining Post TM! If you're not empathetic minded or not in the mood for putting up with my crap, scroll down to the orange square and everything will be just fine.

I'm still thinking about her.
You REALLY need a girlfriend, you might say. But do I? Is that really the solution to the problem? Is that even the problem at all? I am I lonely and that's all it is? Or is there something more?

Well I have no idea. But at any rate I miss something. I miss the closeness, the love, the loving, the intimacy, but I think I miss her too. She was a cool person. I like and liked hanging out with her, doing things, all that stuff. I wish I could be her friend... I think.

And I write letters to her all the time. Luckily I've learnt not to send them anymore, that always ends in disaster, but I still write them in my head. Dear A... blah blah blah. They're gotten less bitter and sad and nostalgic and more optimistic in recent months. But I still write them.

I guess this is all normal huh? I've never had a proper breakup before so this is my first, and obviously I'm not the best at handling it. But why do other people handle them so much better? It is them? Is it the other person? Is it just the fact that I'm more vocal about them?

I dunno.

In fact I can't even articulate my thoughts properley. I had a letter written. I was going to post is up on the blog, decided against it, and instead was going to write my thoughts down. But I can even do that properley. I guess I'm just a bit down today. It's like a rollcoaster with me and my emotions. Except instead of being built on normal FLAT ground, this rollcoaster is built on a step decline. That would be a good metaphor except that it's not. It's really not.

To quote my pal Dermot: "The glass is neither half empty nor half full. It's not even what I ordered in the first place."

Ok, well my 55 minutes are up anyway... thanks Doc.
IESSO