IF YOU LISTEN CLOSELY YOU CAN HEAR MY HEART SKIP
Yes folks it Christmas. And this is the best Christmas ever! And i know that I say that nevery year, but seriously, this has been a good one.
The presents sucked, there was no Christmas brunch, I got into a fight with my dad and brother about generic religion, and we have a ham.
Being Jews we're new to this whole ham game. What's up with the bits of ham jello? I was severely dissappointed. I was expecting little suprises of lime or strawberry flavours. BUT NO! Ham. Who eats ham jello? No-one. Thats who. Except the French.
Well anyway, I made a giant sandwich out of piglets remains, and let me tell you it was big! And salty. And tasted kinda like meat. Sound familiar? Well good, ya big bunch of queers.
And by that I mean awkward, not homosexual. Dude, quit with the gay jokes.
ANYWAY. This has been good, but I have to get back to my sandwich. Which unfortunately couldn't escape the Jew in me, dispite the content, and had to be met with a dill pickle. Sorry, I tried.
I'm Elliott Scott, Blood Pressure 200/120, signing off.
The presents sucked, there was no Christmas brunch, I got into a fight with my dad and brother about generic religion, and we have a ham.
Being Jews we're new to this whole ham game. What's up with the bits of ham jello? I was severely dissappointed. I was expecting little suprises of lime or strawberry flavours. BUT NO! Ham. Who eats ham jello? No-one. Thats who. Except the French.
Well anyway, I made a giant sandwich out of piglets remains, and let me tell you it was big! And salty. And tasted kinda like meat. Sound familiar? Well good, ya big bunch of queers.
And by that I mean awkward, not homosexual. Dude, quit with the gay jokes.
ANYWAY. This has been good, but I have to get back to my sandwich. Which unfortunately couldn't escape the Jew in me, dispite the content, and had to be met with a dill pickle. Sorry, I tried.
I'm Elliott Scott, Blood Pressure 200/120, signing off.
2 comments:
Elliot, do you look back at comments about things this far back in time? I am reading from the biginning and now that I get to this post with the gross-out abominable ham, I wonder...
ARE WE SUPPOSED TO TAKE ANY OF THIS SERIOUSLY?
I take it deady F***KING seriously! Thanks for reading, 'specially the "vintage" posts of yestermonth.
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