It's her party and I'll cry if I want to...

Cry if I want to...
Cry if I want to.....
You would cry too, if it happened to-oo... you...

It's nearly her birthday. Maybe that's why she called. But was too afraid to say anything. Maybe. I dunno if it was an accident.

I was going to call her anyway, and wish her a happy birthday. Or maybe just message her. I don't want to ruin her fun with my sad whinging and longing for her. I don't want to cry on her birthday. I usually cry when I talk to her. I am:
1) A Wuss
2) A HOPELESS Romantic
3) A Loser

Think less of me if you want. It can't be much worse than how I feel about me. Jeez that's sad. I'm in a sad mood. Sorry to drag you in too. Sorry. I write how I think, not how I want to appear. Which is why I'm always talking myself down, and confessing to my own stupidity. I don't like talking myself up.

If you think I was cool, read this blog, that'll change your mind. But at least I'm honest.


I'm Elliott Scott rambling my usual ending, which no-one cares about anyway. Signing off.

PS. If you're wondering why I haven't publically wished her a happy birthday on this site, like I did for other people; it's because she doesn't know about this blog. It's not that I'm afraid for her to read it, or for her to find out that I'm a loser, or for her to see that I'm interested in other girls or anything like that. It's simply I want her to not have me in her life. I hurt her as much as she hurts me. She has a blog too, and if I knew the address I'd read it. Even if it does hurt me. I want her to be happy. I only wish it was with me.

PPS. Telling me to get over it is fair enough. I was over it. Mainly. But like I said, every time I hear from her, or even just see her name, or have a significant date coming up (like her birthday) I get all sad, and drawn back into it.

PPPS. Don't worry, there will be happy blogs soon enough. Soon my pretties, soon.